Cadence Weapon Makes Me Mad at My Friends
It’s happened too many times. With too many friends. I am in the car. Sometimes driving, sometimes not. The aux cord comes my way and I plug in knowing damn well what I am gonna play. I play it cool. No need to raise pulses or expectations. Let him doing his own talking. Cadence Weapon doesn’t need me. He’s too ill. His articulate misanthropy and big, dusty electro beats demand attention, praise, revelry….at least a friggin comment. So when the first track slowly starts to fade out without note, I don’t panic. “Oliver Square” isn’t the most accessible track and we are doing a lot of talking over it whilst catching up. No sweat, no sweat. No need to say anything, just move on. Let’s do some “Messages Matter.” That’ll slay some muhfuckas. (Midway through the song) OK, OK. WHAT is going on?!?! I know this car doesn’t have the best system to showcase the beats, but what the hell. They’re just not paying enough attention. Just turn it up and THEN they’ll recognize. Then that coveted moment for a head will finally arrive. The cherished moment when your friend loses whatever thought was in their brain, furrows their brow, points at the speaker and delivers that cherished sentence “Man! Who is this? You gotta give me this.” The song finishes. Nothing. At this point all playing hard to get ends. “Hey, man. Really check this next one out. Cadence Weapon is dope. Just make sure you give this next one a listen.” Scrutinizing reactions, I tensely keep my silence until “Unsuccessful Club Nights” heads towards the end. Me (in real life): “What did you think?” Them: “Huh? What? Oh yeah, it’s cool.” Me (not in real life, but in angry brain life): “NAW! NAW! IT’S NOT ‘COOOOOOOL’. It’s FUCKING AWESOME. Don’t think I didn’t note your disinterested tone. He’s from Edmonton, Canada. Yeah. You didn’t even ask. Yes!! YES!! That was a sample of Arnold Schwarzenneger from Kindergarten Cop on ‘Messages Matter,’ but you didn’t even notice. DID YOU?! NO! NO! I WON’T LOWER MY VOICE. No. Don’t touch me! This is BULLSHIT!!! Pull the fuckin car over!”
…I am just saying: my friends suck, Cadence Weapon doesn’t.